Note to self: Next time, wear earplugs

A Normal Day in German Class: Part Zwei

According to J3, J2 arrived home at 2 o'clock in the morning last night. J2 announced he was tired and 10 minutes later Frau T looked back to discover J2 asleep on the floor. After prodding him with her foot, he was sent to the office. J3 explained, (while Frau T was escorting outside) that J2 would sleep in the middle of the hallway. All I know is Senora C arrived 10 minutes later with J2 and Frau T got even more angry.

A Normal Day in German Class

"Frau T?"
"Yes J1?"
"Is it normal if you haven't crapped in a week?"
"No J1, it is very bad."
"Oh. Can I go to the nurse?"

Marc's girlfriend made a screen name called, "ilovemarc"
To make fun of her Blake made a screen name called "iLikeduckswh"
The wh stands for West Hanover.
"We don't live in West Hanover," I said annoyed.
"But West Hanover is the shiz," replied Blake.


Abby....looks like wh is gaining fans

Ya know what I hate? When on the SAT9's they ask you to choose which sentence doesn't fit. Then they choose a sentence not to fit that has NOTHING to do with the selection. At all! Example:

"Estella, the cold and hardened girl that was raised to wreak havoc on all men, looked down on Pip for most of his life. He was always too plain and would never be good enough in Estella's eyes. Niagara Falls is one of the biggest waterfalls in America. However, even after being smacked by her and always shunned, Pip continued his utmost and unfaltering adoration for her."

Hmm, I wonder which one doesn't belong in the paragraph....

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Cheryl became unfaithful to me at the end of TGE last night.

"Cheryl get off Ian! You're mine tonight"
"Oh! Oh! You'll have to punish me! Do I get the whip?"
"If you want the whip, you are NOT getting the whip!"
"Tennis Racket?"
"?????"

Jordan....I have 4 words for you and three letters...

You missed it....Again
HLA

Is anyone else completely shocked that Hanson has a new video and in said video is the girl who played Anna in the OC?

Does anybody else like it?

"These are not spirit fingers; THESE are spirit fingers!"

Yes....I've been watching Bring It On.

Chad said my biography would go like this:
"Censored, Censored, Staff meeting, Censored. Now that we're done with Cheryl's part in Liz's life....."

You know you're a failure as a parent when your daughter comes home from a picnic with twigs sticking out of her pants.

Some people like Raman noodles.
Blake likes Raman noodles.
He likes them ground into a powder and cooked like porridge....A chicken noodle soupy-ish porridge.


What a weirdo...

If Atticus and Finch got together to make an album it'd be called, "To Kill a Mocking Bird."
If anyone gets that I'll be very impressed.

This blog should really be called, "Liz's Blog That Two Other People Post on if Liz Bitches at Them Enough"

Talkative4evr23 [11:35 AM]: yo I got the highest grade on an English test in my class
Skyefox888 [11:36 AM]: yo thats awesome
Talkative4evr23 [11:37 AM]: yeah it is!! I got a C and the rest got Fs

What Happens When You Give Abby a Digital Camera

Auto response from Mommorris [2:55 PM]: 17'5 74x d4y....1'v3 b33n d0n3 4 4wh1l3...1 l4ugh 47 4ll 7h3 p30pl3 who h4v3n't 574r73d....h4 h4 h4!!!

"I love how the republicans e-mail and call me, then I know not to vote for them."

"With all of your calls and e-mails," said Julie, obviously annoyed. "I had to block you on my buddy list your IMs were so incessant."
"You BLOCKED me?!" a distressed Luke asked. " I thought you were just offline!"

That is why I watch the OC. That was a totally serious moment and it was hilarious. Ah man, I love the OC.

When people say I'm lazy for waiting until my mom is conveniently by the controller to ask for her to get it for me (instead of getting it myself), I explain that I am not lazy, just patient. And patience, my friends, is a virtue.

Boomerangs were invented by very lonely Frisbee enthusiasts.

Kg. Bootleg, What's the difference between the strong tags and bold tags? They look the same to me and it seems it would be easier to use bold over strong since it's just one letter. Thoughts, comments, questions?

Word of Caution:
If you are going to put your cough drop in an empty bag of sour skittles so you can eat it later, let's say, after you drink your orange juice, the cough drop will be sour.

Try and learn from my mistakes.

Don't you hate it when your foot itches, so you go to scratch it, and your foot's asleep? And, well this probably doesn't happen to you, but I'm always afraid I'm going to cut my foot because my nails are sharp. Then, by the time your foot wakes up, it like...doesn't itch anymore. And then, the gratification of ridding yourself of your itch on your foot no longer exists. So you feel this odd sense misplacement, like your lost or something. "Where do I belong?" and such. Its very disheartening.

Youfrog2000 [8:13 PM]: I like fruit baskets because if you send someone fruit you dont look like an idiot
Youfrog2000 [8:13 PM]: i mean if you sent someone some apples theyd be like "what the hell?"
Youfrog2000 [8:13 PM]: but if you put them in a basket they'd be like, "hey...this is nice"

Wheres the story, Jordan? n00b....Haha, that's just fun to say! Anyway, you seriously need to come to more staff meetings Jor, lets just say you missed it.....AGAIN!

OMG K!LL B!LL VOLUME 3
YAHOO NEWS STORY HERE!

"How would YOU like to sit in YOUR OWN HOME and with a click of a button start YOUR OWN monastery?? Hello, My name is Blake Morris and I'm going to hell. Today, I'm here to tell you about Inflata-Church. Don't have the time to go to a real mass? Perhaps you're too hung over from Saturday night or you're JUST TOO LAZY! Now with Inflata-Church, you can go to church anytime, ANYWHERE! Call now and get two monks to pray for your soul FREE! Call now!"

Q: What's this? (stand with your arms outstretched, like an airplane)
A: A really shitty way to spend Easter

Liz's System of Self-Confidence

1. Look at your self in the mirror and say aloud, "I, (Insert full name here), am beautiful." OR "I, (Insert full name here), am freaking hot."

2. Pick out one particularly lovely feature about yourself. Maybe your eyes are the prettiest spring green, or you have a sensational butt. Or you have sexy sexy hair. Either way, look at this lovely feature noticing its wonderfulness and subtle wonderful details and say aloud, "I, (insert full name here), have an amazing (insert lovely feature here)."

3. You probably have a warped body image. Why do I make such presumptions? Most people do. I mean, look at TG, she thinks her belly button is normal. Anyway, look at yourself and say aloud, "I have a beautiful body."

Rinse, Repeat.

She learns!

Auto response from Mommorris [2:54 PM]: G1v1ng 4 sh0ut 0ut 2 411 my h0m135...j00 kn0...my b00...my h0m3 b0y5 4nd g1rl5..w1th my 1mpr3551v3 m45t3ry of th15 n3w 14ngu4g3 of l33t. K33ping 1t 0n th3 d0wn l0w 50 n0 0n3 ha5 2 kn0...how d1d 1 d0, L1z???

Though she hasn't exactly mastered it....

Auto response from Mommorris [3:53 PM]: G1v1ng a sh0ut 0ut 2 a11 my h0m1es...u kn0...my b00...my h0me b0ys and g1rls..w1th my 1mpress1ve mastery of th1s new 1anguage of leet.

classilassi007 [9:32 PM]: who names their kid tran?
Youfrog2000 [9:32 PM]: someone whose obsessed with ATARI 2600
Youfrog2000 [9:32 PM]: the video game system from the early 90's
classilassi007 [9:34 PM]: its in my french homework
Youfrog2000 [9:34 PM]: oh
classilassi007 [9:34 PM]:lol
Youfrog2000 [9:34 PM]: some french people obsessed with ATARI 2600
classilassi007 [9:34 PM]: ah
classilassi007 [9:35 PM]: excellent observation
Youfrog2000 [9:35 PM]: lol

For Issue 8 of the True Revolutionist, each of us are choosing third parties to do articles on. One of the third parties, the Pansexual Peace Party, has the most hilarious view on sex.

"Sex is good! Sex is great! Yea sex!"

There once was a man from Thailand,
Who thought he was from Siam,
When told twas the same,
He up and exclaimed,
"Then I must be from Sai-land!"

-Limerick by my mom in 8th grade...Best poem she ever wrote.

Kill Bill Volume One comes out on DVD April 13.
Kill Bill Volume Two comes out in theaters April 16.

Lets see when how early Jordan can find it on the internet. (you h4x0r you)

Jordan's Album Review of the Month:
(not really mine...allmusic.com)
Velvet Underground: White Light/White Heat
The world of pop music was hardly ready for The Velvet Underground's first album when it appeared in the spring of 1967, but while The Velvet Underground and Nico sounded like an open challenge to conventional notions of what rock music could sound like (or what it could discuss), 1968's White Light/White Heat was a no-holds-barred frontal assault on cultural and aesthetic propriety. Recorded without the input of either Nico or Andy Warhol, White Light/White Heat was the purest and rawest document of the key Velvets lineup of Lou Reed, John Cale, Sterling Morrison, and Maureen Tucker, capturing the group at their toughest and most abrasive. The album opens with an open and enthusiastic endorsement of amphetamines (startling even from this group of noted drug enthusiasts), and side one continues with an amusing shaggy-dog story set to a slab of lurching mutant R&B ("The Gift"), a perverse variation on an old folktale ("Lady Godiva's Operation"), and the album's sole "pretty" song, the mildly disquieting "Here She Comes Now." While side one was a good bit darker in tone than the Velvets' first album, side two was where they truly threw down the gauntlet with the manic, free-jazz implosion of "I Heard Her Call My Name" (featuring Reed's guitar work at its most gloriously fractured), and the epic noise jam "Sister Ray," 17 minutes of sex, drugs, violence, and other non-wholesome fun with the loudest rock group in the history of Western Civilization as the house band. White Light/White Heat is easily the least accessible of The Velvet Underground's studio albums, but anyone wanting to hear their guitar-mauling tribal frenzy straight with no chaser will love it, and those benighted souls who think of the Velvets as some sort of folk-rock band are advised to crank their stereo up to ten and give side two a spin.

(Sung)
"If there's ever been a better combination of food and movies, It's chicken and Pooooooooooorrrnnnnn!"

Blake just started singing that. Any idea what it's from?

Just to back up my belly button case, you could fit a freaking nickel in her belly button, or draw a smiley face IN there, whereas my NORMAL belly button is only big enough for a pencil. Tg's belly button is huge. And she pronounces "room" as "rum" so make fun of her.

I love you Tree Girl

PilsburyQT [9:17 PM]: you are so sexy sometimes
Youfrog2000 [9:17 PM]: just sometimes?

I think its pretty funny they found Osama bin Laden on April Fool's Day.

The Story Here