I'm sure something of interest has happened.

Oh, some guy was angry at a chicken in Italy and tried to cut the chicken's head off. He missed and cut off his ding-a-ling.
Then his dog ran up and ate it.

Also, a "vibrating adult sex toy" was found in a trash can, on and buzzing. People thought it was a bomb and the WHOLE area was evacuated.

That's all folks.